Then, come back down and attempt to address the issue.Ĩ. Analyze the situation – try to put yourself in the other person’s shoes and figure out where they are coming from. Take a “helicopter view.” Imagine yourself rising above the situation and looking down at what’s happening. A lack of any of these will lead to stress, which leads to a greater likelihood of losing your cool.ħ.
With practice you can slow it all down and get used to inhaling and exhaling more and more deeply.Ħ. If you have trouble holding your breath, speed the exercise up but keep to the ratio of 4:7:8 for the three phases. The absolute time you spend on each phase is not important the ratio of 4:7:8 is important. Now inhale again and repeat the cycle three more times for a total of four breaths. Exhale completely through your mouth, to a count of eight.Close your mouth and inhale quietly through your nose to a mental count of four.Although you can do the exercise in any position, sit with your back straight while learning the exercise. Active listening will not only buy you time to regain your composure, it will help diffuse the emotions of the person that’s attacking you.Ĥ.
Ask clarifying questions and paraphrase your understanding of the other person’s point of view. When you feel that trigger and adrenaline rush, keep your mouth shut and listen. Own your triggers and take responsibility for changing how you react.ģ. Give up on the expectation that the world or others need to change to stop setting you off. Identify your “triggers.” What people, behaviors, or situations tend to set you off? Think back over the last six months. However, they never let their emotions take over their brains and make them say stupid things that they later regret.Ģ. They use them to inspire, to demonstrate passion, and to be seen as authentic. Great leaders understand the power of emotions. Learn to use your emotions as a tool and not let your emotions control you. So what can you do to overcome the urge to throttle your co-worker that says something that sets you off? Here are 10 techniques to try:ġ. Not so good when confronted by an angry co-worker in a meeting. Which serves us fine if we are in the woods confronted by an angry bear. Chemicals are triggered that enable us to run away from or fight an angry bear. Maintaining your composure can be hard! Emotions serve us well, especially in dangerous situations. However, people remember, and it becomes a tough reputation to overcome. In most cases, it’s on a rare occasion, maybe months ago. When coaching leaders who have received negative 360-degree feedback about composure, I’ll ask them when the last time they lost their cool was. Unfortunately, all it takes is one public outburst. When leaders blow up, lose their tempers or let their emotions get the better of them, they can quickly develop a reputation as volatile, moody, defensive or having a lack of leadership presence.
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